“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” –Lao Tzu
This sentiment was on my mind Monday afternoon as I flew home from Berlin and thought about a city that because it is deeply loved and, in turn, loves deeply is able to emerge from a painful past with wisdom and dignity.
Little did I know that in less than 24 hours I would once again turn to Lao Tzu.
A drowsy Tuesday morning after a long weekend in Germany gave way to an early afternoon phone call at work from our daycare provider and good friend who was taking care of Edgar since he had the day off from school. In the seven years I have known Colleen, she has never called me at work. She understands children and has a powerful sense of what is worth worrying about and what is not. And she is anything but an alarmist.
She described what had happened. And as I stood listening to her words, watching the world literally swirl around me, I asked her, “What do you think this means?” And she said, “I think he had seizure.”
Edgar did, in fact, have what was most likely a seizure yesterday afternoon. And on Friday morning he is facing an EEG to find out for sure.
And I would be lying if I said I was not scared–of the known and the unknown, of the fact that his tiny 39-pound six-year-old body has been through so much, that this embodiment of kindness and sweetness in the world has to suffer.
But yet I know if the love Edgar gives and the love we return to him are any indication, we will have the strength and courage we need to navigate this path.
We have to. It’s Edgar.