Top Five Reasons NOT to Bring Home a Guinea Pig

Here is a snippet of a note we received recently from Oscar and Edgar’s wonderful science teacher:

“As the holiday season approaches, I will be looking for families to volunteer to take care of Penny (our classroom Guinea Pig) over the school vacations! Many students have expressed an interest in taking Penny home, so I would like to offer that opportunity to all families.”

Oscar got in the car last Friday, reached into the abyss of his Boba Fett backpack, and whipped out that letter.

What followed went something like this:  “Plllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee can we take Penny home for all the school vacations?”

All of them?

Edgar chimed in: “I want Penny!!!!!!!!”

Of course he does.

So, here are my Top Five Reasons Not to Bring Home a Guinea Pig:

5.  We live in a 1,500-square foot house–and by “we,” I mean, five people, two dogs, and a cat.  I’m not sure there’s room for even one more book, let alone a guinea pig and her accouterments.

4.  We have a cat and two dogs (see Number 5 above).  One more creature with fur–especially of the rodent variety–might tantalize our four-footed creatures beyond what we could even imagine.

3.  Bringing home a guinea pig for a weekend or a school vacation is only going to make the boys want one of their own.  Oscar played a video game one time at a friend’s house and now has put something called a “DS” at the top of Christmas list.

2.  August has recently discovered what he believes to be the culinary delights of dog food.  I can only imagine how delicious he’d find guinea pig food.

1.  And the number-one reason we shouldn’t bring home a guinea pig I can’t even spell . . . the infamous guinea pig squeal that I know, with my luck, will start up the minute I drift off to sleep.  And, oh how I LOVE sleep . . .

But, of course, you all know how this story will end . . . because the number-one reason to bring Penny home for a week or just a weekend is because Oscar and Edgar want to and will love her and love the experience.

So, I will let their science teacher know Penny the Guinea Pig is welcome here any time–and I’ll worry about sleep some other time!


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