We are so fortunate to be affiliated with adoption agency and a social worker for whom we have the utmost respect and admiration. And our gratitude to them is simply incapable of being expressed adequately in words. So, when our social worker asked if I wouldn’t mind presenting our adoption story to a group of prospective adoptive parents, I didn’t hestiate. Sharing our journey with others, especially those who are considering this path for themselves, feels right.
Don and I dated eight years before we made it official, as they say, and we honestly did not think that parenthood was going to be something we would choose. We imagined ourselves one of those “sophisticated” couples who traveled to exotic locales, living in the moment, and being completely fulfilled as we pursued our own intellectual whims. Then one day we were at the movies–not an insighful documentary or a biting political satire, but Babe, yes, the movie about the pig. We were watching the credits when the name “Oscar” rolled up the screen. Don turned to me and said, as nonchalantly as anyone could, “If we ever have a son, could we name him Oscar?” And so Chapter One began . . .
Our journey to Oscar–and then Edgar–had a few signifcant bumps along the way; but, ultimately, though we didn’t know it at the time, that is to be expected. Every platitude about anything worth having is worth working for applies; and though we learned indelible lessons from those painful interludes before our boys came home, the pain of the past simply didn’t matter once they did. When we held them in our arms and knew they were our sons, everything that led up to those moments was put into perspective and suddenly made sense.
Our adoption journey is ongoing as we await the arrival of our third child. The bumps we have endured this time have been handled with the aplomb brought only by the perspective borne of experience. We know our third child is coming, and we are more than certain that the day will come when we all will find one another.
The exotic locales we travel to now are chosen with the boys in mind and often feature Thomas the Tank Engine or Cookie Monster. We live in the moment more than we ever could have imagined, and the intellectual whims we pursue are now driven by the healthy and insatiable curiosity of two vivacious preschoolers. And nothing could be better.
In the meantime, I am thrilled to share what I have learned thus far with others considering adoption, knowing full well there is still much to learn. As much as we are dedicated to sharing our story, we are committed to honoring all our teachers–not the least of whom are our sons, who show us every day that when something is right, it happens just the way it is supposed to–not without work, but surely without force. We know we are exactly where we are supposed to be, and that is a feeling of peace that makes all of the inevitable bumps manageable.